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It has been a topic that I have written about many, many, many times. I am that exception and I shouldn’t be. On a new website, it’s time to again explain how we changed things and what questions people had to ask.

 

In 2013, I became sick. I suffered a burn-out and could not work for a long time. I worked in a hospital in the Dutch city of Leiden. Together with my partner, we decided that things needed to change. I gave up my job and went on to seek new challenges. First of all, I was the one who stayed home so that I could take care of the children. Second, I became self-employed. First as a photographer and later as a website designer and advisor.

In 2015 I went back to being employed by a boss. The first experiment wasn’t the best one since my boss did not show any compassion for the situation in our family. My son was diagnosed with PTSS and this resulted in a situation where he was home most of the time. My second boss (2016) was more open and showed more compassion. In the end, I was juggling with schedules to make up for lost time. My partner and I decided that this wasn’t the way to go. Our son needed the attention he deserved and I (again) gave up my job. Before you start saying things like “That is very noble”, remember there is also a second “party” involved in all of this: my partner. She works as a lab coordinator at the University of Applied Sciences in Leiden. Well, she will be working there until October. Then her new job starts.

I am not just the father who stays home. Well, in the end, the children (son and daughter) are the most important ones. But I also work as a freelancer. I am the owner of The Ministry of Poetic Affairs (Dutch and English), I write for De Goede Huisvader and this website. I’m also a photographer.

The questions aren’t difficult to answer anymore. At first, they were. What are you doing at home? Why are you at home? Questions like these were always followed by “an opinion.” At first, it made me kind of disappointed. Later on, I went from being disappointed in showing the rest of the world role patterns can change.

I believe that women are entitled to have a career. They should be able to explore job opportunities. They should also receive the same pay as men do. They don’t deserve a lower income just because they are women. Unfortunately, this still happens. Because of this and because of the fact that not everyone believes in these changing role patterns, I keep on writing. I will keep on writing to show the world, things can change. Things should change!

If you feel you can contribute to this website by giving your opinion on matters such as these, contact The Diligent Father for more information.

 

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